Snake Jailbird
From Simpsons Wiki
Professor "Snake" Jailbird, He was first seen inThe War of the Simpsons
BIO
Snake is Springfield's resident felon, always doing illegal and getting arrested but rarely appearing to stay at the Springfield jail. He speaks with a Valley Boy" accent from Cali, mixed with a hint of posh, educated English that belies his criminal status, and keeps a pack of cigarettes rolled up in his sleeve. He is partial to fast cars and fast women, and has a knack for reckless abandon.
In the episode "Treehouse of Horror IX" it is revealed that Snake played lacrosse at Ball State University. He also attended Middlebury College and repaid his student loans after robbing Moe Szyslak's tavern. His car's name is "Lil' Bandit", which may be a 1968 Pontiac Firebird, or a 1969 Dodge Charger. It could be a reference to James Dean's so-called possessed car the "Li'l Bastard". The car's horn plays the opening line of the tune "Dixie", similar to "The General Lee" from the tv show The Dukes of Hazzard, and it is revealed in Simpsons Comics that the vehicle conceals Chitty Chitty Bang Bang-esque wings.
Snake has a tendency to overuse adverbs, particularly "like", "totally" and "really", in places where they are not warranted. In one episode Snake makes the mundane recollection that two people he knew got married after going to the same university, phrasing it "they are, like, totally married."
He was once held captive by Herman along with Police Chief Wiggum (spoof of the filmPulp Fiction ) but was eventually rescued by Kirk and Milhouse Van Houten.
He once ran a telemarketing scam, but could not stick to it because he did not like bothering people at home. He also wrote the books, The Ten Habits of Highly Successful Criminals and A Criminal's Guide to Hiding in Mexico. When wearing a prison uniform, his prison number is 7F20, which is the production code of his debut episode, The War of the Simpsons.
During a flashback, it is revealed that Snake used to be an archaeologist and had a large sack of rare coins, until it was stolen. They are later discovered by Mr. Burns in the jukebox in Moe's Tavern. This event caused him to turn to crime. After he noticed the coins were gone, he exclaimed, "Who would suspect me, Professor Jailbird?" However, the bulk of this episode is revealed to be a story made up by Bart to escape punishment, so this part of Snake's backstory may not be canon.
In "Treehouse of Horror IX", Snake was executed based on a "three-strikes" policy. First he burned down an orphanage, then he blew up a bus full of nuns (which Snake declared was "totally self-defense"), and finally he smoked in the Kwik-E-Mart. His hair was then implanted into Homer's head, but it instilled Snake-like characteristics into Homer (seeking revenge for Snake's imprisonment and execution by murdering all of the witnesses to his crime) and the hair had to be removed. This episode is a parody of John Carpenter's 1993 made-for-Showtime film Body Bags, which consisted of multiple stories; in one, Stacey Keach receives a hair transplant with an alien parasite within, and in another, Mark Hamill receives an eye transplant and is taken over by the personality of the eye's previous owner.
Name
Snake's real name, according to an official trading card, is Chester Turley. However, many of the official trading cards have some untrue and contradictory facts and the name can't necessarily be considered canon. Snake is also referred to as Jailbird (his original name) by the crew of the Simpsons.
In the episode "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story," Bart tells a story in which Snake refers to himself as Professor Jailbird; it was also revealed that he was formerly an idealistic Indiana Jones-type archaeologist until Moe Szyslak stole the Mayan gold coins he had discovered and was going to donate to the museum, and he decided to take his revenge out on society (convenience stores). However, it is not made clear whether Bart was telling the truth. In the episode "The Wandering Juvie" it is stated Snake had previously spent time in a juvenile facility, suggesting he was a criminal before being an archaeologist. In the flashback episode "Springfield Up" a teenaged Snake is called "Detention Bird" by a 16-year-old Clancy Wiggum, and in a Simpsons Comic featuring Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl, Snake was a villain named "the Serpent."
Family
In "Pygmoelian", it was revealed that Snake had a son. "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story" gave the son's name as Jeremy. The episode also reveals that Snake has custody issues with his son. Although Snake seems to have committed every crime possible, he is an extremely good father to Jeremy. He points Bart out to Jeremy, saying, "Look, there's a boy you can play with!" Bart and Jeremy play battleship for the remainder of the episode.
In addition to his son, Snake has a brother (or other male relative) who looks and talks very similarly, as seen in The Springfield Connection where the two run a Three-card Monte game. His ex-girlfriend Gloria (who is awkwardly a cop) briefly dated Charles Montgomery Burns, but then came back to him.