$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)"
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- Homer: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining sides.
- Man: That's a right triangle, you idiot.
- Homer: D'oh!
- Waylon Smithers, Jr.: Sir, bad news from accounting. The economy's hit us pretty hard.
- Charles Montgomery Burns: Hey, tough times, eh? I've lived through twelve recessions, eight panics, and five years of McKinley-nomics. I'll survive this!
- Mayor Quimby: I propose that I use what's left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. And uh, once elected, I will send for the rest of you.
- Crowd: Boo!
- Horatio McCallister: I'll need three ships and fifty stout men! We'll sail 'round The Horn and return with spices and silk, the likes of which ye have never seen!
- Mr. Burns: We're building a casino.
- Captain McCallister: Arr. Can ye give me five minutes?
- Lisa: Mom, we're having a geography pageant at school, and I don't know which state to go as.
- Marge: In honor of legalized gambling, why not go as the state of Nevada?
- Lisa: No. Nevada makes my butt look big.
- Homer: Twenty- one? Do that card-counting thing again! Come on. Do it again.
- Raymond Babbitt: Definitely have to leave the table.
- Homer: No! Please, please, please, please, please...
- Raymond Babbitt: Gotta watch Wapner. Leave the table. Yeah, leave the table.
- Audience member: Well, you're the worst comedian we've ever seen!
- Krusty the Clown: Oh, great. Well we'll just sit here silently for the next ninety minutes.
- Audience member: Fine with us.
- Homer: Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much time at the casino, and I think you may have a problem...
- Marge: I won sixty dollars last night.
- Homer: Woo hoo! Problem solved!
- Mr. Burns: Smithers, I've designed a new plane. I call it the Spruce Moose, and it will carry two hundred passengers from New York's Idlewild Airport to the Belgian Congo in seventeen minutes.
- Smithers: That's quite a nice model, sir.
- Mr. Burns: Model?
- Homer: Huh? Wuh? Lisa? What's up?
- Lisa: I just had a bad dream.
- Homer: Aw, sure... you just lie down and tell me all about it.
- Lisa: Well, I know it's absurd, but I dreamed the Boogeyman was after me and he's hiding...
- Homer: [screams] Boogeyman?! You nail the windows shut! I'll get the gun!
- Robert Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager.
- Nelson Muntz: Your manager says for you to shut up!
- Robert Goulet: [surprised] Vera said that?
- Lisa: I'm not a state, I'm a monster!
- Homer: You promised Lisa to help her with her costume. You made her cry, then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper.
- Homer: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem.
- Marge: You know, you're right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help.
- Homer: No no, that's too expensive. Just don't do it anymore.
